Friendship 2014 - West Park Baptist Church
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Friendship 2014 - West Park Baptist Church
A Friend of God? By Mary Romeos Friends are the flowers in the garden of life. I am very grateful because my life has been filled with such beautiful flowers that spread their fragrance abundantly around me. I cannot imagine my life without friends. Since I was a little girl, I cherished each and every friend that walked into my life and made it richer with their presence. A friend is someone who loves us and we love them. We love spending time together, sharing our thoughts, fears, joy and struggles. A friend is someone that you can be yourself with. For the last 23 years, God blessed my life with a special friend, my sister-in-law Marcy. The best part is that we live next door to one another, so we have the joy of sharing so many common things, from rearing our children, to serving the Lord together. I can be myself with Marcy. I can’t hide if I m not feeling well and I can tell when she is not at her best.. When I am excited about something, I have to tell her right away. When I am happy, I have to share it with her. But life changes!! When Marcy and the whole family had to go back to the States for a longer period of time, it was a big challenge for me. I am very thankful for technology that gives you the joy of connecting with your loved ones, but with serious limits. However, this saddening challenge was an opportunity to really make me think – what does it mean to be called a friend of God!! Jesus called His disciples His friends. He did not call them His servants, but His friends. What does it mean to be called a friend of God? Friendship with God is a loving relationship, not a duty. The characteristic of Jesus’ relationship with His disciples was His personal and passionate love for them. Now before the feast of the passover, when Jesus knew that his hour was come that he should depart out of this world unto the Father, having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end. (John 13:1) His love was unconditional. His love was also sacrificial. He gave His life for those He loved and secured for them everlasting life. I am a friend of God, but do I make Him happy spending time with Him? He gave everything for me but am I ready to share with Him my joys and my sorrows? Am I ready to trust Him unconditionally? In times that I feel lonely, I am not really alone, because He promises that He will not leave me, never forsake me. I can go to Him with everything that burdens me, because He says: “come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest.” I can talk to Him anytime, because there is not a different time zone with heaven! He is constantly there for me, ready to listen, because He loves me. He also wants me to love others the way He loved me and to serve others according to the example He gave us. He wants me to spread His fragrance everywhere I go. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. (John 15:13-15) Mary and her husband Fotis, our Greek National Partners, serve together at the Cosmovision Center in Athens The CHAIN is a written ministry of WPBC Women’s Ministry. Guidelines can be requested from the Women’s Writing Team. The Women’s Ministry Team of West Park is a group of volunteer women who are passionate about their commitment to their Lord and their care for His women. If we can be of help to you in any way, please call the church office, and they will put you in touch with one of our Team members. It would be our joy to talk with you in order to connect you with other women, provide help for your needs, attach you to our Body, inspire you in your spiritual journey, and nurture your understanding of God’s Word. West Park Baptist Church Women’s Ministry · 8833 Middlebrook Pike · Knoxville, TN 37923 Church Office: 865-690-0031 • Toll Free: 1-800-467-3228 • www.westparkbaptist.org 8 west park women’s ministry newsletter connect ... help ... attach ... inspire ... nurture Spring 2014 Vol. IX, No. 2 Recently I saw a meme on Facebook showing a funeral home chapel, a flower-draped casket at the front, three or four people sitting alone around the room, and two people talking at the back. The caption read, “I expected so many more people. She had over 2,000 Facebook friends.” Ouch! That stings, mainly because it is true. In the 21st century the idea of friendship has taken on an entirely new meaning. Through social media you CAN have over 2,000 friends, yet not speak to or spend time with very few, if any, of them. Remember what friendship is—a unique and special relationship of mutual harmony, understanding, loyalty, and intimacy between two people? What names come to mind when you read that? Whose faces make your heart and lips smile? Yes! Those friends! In this edition of the CHAIN, we are going to ask some questions about friendship, like— What makes it harder to make friends in one stage of life than another? How do we help our children navigate friendships? What does it mean to be a Friend of God? How can we develop cross-cultural friendships? Is our husband supposed to be our best friend? What has the on-line world done to your friendships? As you open the pages of this issue, you will see photographs of you, our West Park ladies, as you gathered with your friends for our PRAY Conference, our missions potluck, and our annual Women’s Retreat. It is my prayer that when you are through reading you will be encouraged to spend time connecting with old friends, making new friends, and digging into the Love Letter written to you by Jesus Himself, the truest friend ever. Carol Weaver, don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! don’t miss it! coming up CHAIN Team Leader May 9 Mom’s Chair in the HUB May 10 Women’s Crafting Brunch Chat & Chew (Also June 14, July 12) May 11 Mothers’ Day May 31 Senior Sisters Brunch hosted by the Single Women’s Fellowship July 12 A Single Saturday for Women (Single Women’s Team) July 13 & 27 Sister Circle Interest Coffees August 15 Just Too Busy Fall Dessert Kick Off for Women i Our Kids — Their Friends As parents our plates are overflowing with navigating the supervision of cellphones, schoolwork, sports and computer screens. But, what about helping our children maneuver through friendships? Do we bother? Letters. Words. Phrases. Sentences. The Bible counsels, “Godly people are careful about the friends they choose. But the way of sinners leads them down the wrong path.” (Proverbs 12:26) Additionally it warns, “Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.” (Proverbs 13:20) This is a critical subject. They have the power to lift spirits and touch hearts, and give hope. Do you have a story waiting to be written that could lift a spirit? Touch a heart? Give hope? Have you been on a journey that could encourage another sister in Christ? Do you have an experience that you would like to share? When Making a Friend Becomes Hard If the letters, words, phrases, and sentences that I have just written pique your interest, keep reading. Making friends in preschool was usually pretty easy. The key was to share toys and not to pull hair (or at least apologize if you did). Elementary school got a little more complicated as “coolness” began to factor in, but for the most part, there were still numerous opportunities for friendships. In high school and college, things became harder. But usually, there was still somebody to connect with over a shared experience or struggle and a friendship would be created that would last years, or maybe even a lifetime. The next edition of the CHAIN will be a compilation of articles and stories written by YOU, the ladies of our West Park family. And we would love to hear from you. We have a limited amount of space in the CHAIN and will include as many as we possibly can. If you are interested in submitting an article or story, please read and follow these guidelines. 1. Write (no more than 250 words) 2. Submit (to Carol Weaver at [email protected] no later than July 1). Now, I am many years beyond high school and college. I still have friends from those days, but there is no denying that our friendships have changed as many of them have gotten married, had children, started new careers, or moved away. We still try to talk and get together, but sometimes, we don’t have as much to say or as many experiences to share. All submissions will be read and evaluated by the CHAIN staff. If your submission is selected for publication you will be notified no later than August 1. If you have any questions, please email Carol at [email protected]. I have made some new friends, but making friends doesn’t seem as easy anymore. Everybody is SO BUSY! Even at church where I know I am surrounded by sisters in Christ, it is easy to just smile and exchange pleasantries, but never really connect. I’ve spoken with several ladies at different life stages and it seems like a lot of our ladies feel disconnected, lonely, overwhelmed and have maybe given up on the idea of making new friends. What I want to say is, don’t give up on friendship. Galatians 6:2 reminds us to help bear each other’s burdens. I John 4:7 tells us to love one another because love comes from God. John 13:35 challenges us that the world knows we are disciples by our love for one another. Friendships may seem like hard work and require time we don’t have, but ladies, they are worth it! 2 Can we mentor our children to build positive foundations for choosing Christ like friendships? I asked a few discerning moms for advice and this is what I learned: • Be the example. The parent’s friendships form the template of the child’s friendships. Do you want your child’s friendships to mirror your own? What kind of friend are you? Do you manipulate and take, or pour your life out to serve others? • Know the parents. Children have accountability with open communication between likeminded parents. Also, this allows you to guard the environment your child enters. • Entertain in your home. Allow the neighborhood kids to hang out as often as possible. This is a great way to minister to your kids as well as to so many others. • Role-play when you see trouble on the horizon. All friendships will lead to teachable moments. Instead of the parent demanding to cut off a relationship, role-playing may help your child resolve the conflict on his own and grow in maturity. • Talk about the positive qualities you see in their friendships. What traits do you admire? What attributes do you hope your child emulates from the friendship? No parent ever aspires to see his or her child cruise down the wrong path towards disaster. Today we can help navigate our children on their journey to walk with the wise. Friendship Tea k Crafting Brunch Announcement 1 -1 1/2 cup sugar (or less, to taste) 2 cups instant orange drink 1/2 cup sweetened iced tea mix powder 1 (1/4 ounce) envelope unsweetened lemonade mix 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1 teaspoon ground allspice 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves Want to make new friends and find community with other women? You can do just that at the Crafting Brunch that meets the second Saturday of each month from 10:00 a.m. till 2:00 p.m. in Room 400. It is a casual time to talk, share your joys and concerns, and craft. And when you are not crafting, you might be enjoying a little Blini, Moldovan Horn Jam cookies, Sammoon Hajari, Kabba Mosul or old-fashioned Southern Honey Bun cake. Come join us and build relationships with women from down the street and from around the globe. We would love to have you join us! 1. Combine all ingredients well and store in an airtight container. 2. To use, fill a mug with boiling water and stir in 2-3 teaspoons of mix, to taste. 3. If all you can find is presweetened lemonade, then use the amount of dry mix needed for a 2 quart pitcher according to the package instructions and leave out the sugar. 4. Divide a recipe into small containers and share with your friends. Directions: 7 Life Off Line: Friendship Who is Yours? So what has the ONline world done to your friendships? Are you living a double life as someone else online? Or have you found genuine support in new relationships? In her book Friending, Lynn Baab says that “people thrive on connections.” So true, but the world of on line media is changing the way we connect. Lynn also identifies our biggest challenges today as mobility and busyness. By Cathy Perelman International Circle of Influence Throughout her life, Heidi Stutz felt God using many experiences to create in her a love and desire to serve the Spanish speaking community. She was adopted from Belize at the age of three and observed her father start several Spanish speaking churches over the years. She also saw firsthand the struggles her extended family experienced as they immigrated to a new country and learned a new language. Do you have one? Did you have one in elementary school? How about in High School? Who was yours? For sure, mine was the best ever and we were inseparable. But now? How about now, in this current season? Who is your best friend? Although many say it, I have to honestly agree that I am married to my best friend. I do believe that it is part of my role as a wife to seek to make my husband my highest earthly priority. For me this spells friendship. Best friends tell each other everything, right? My husband should be able to tell me anything and in turn, I must trust him with my thoughts, fears, and feelings. When this is not working, I need to pray that God will change his heart but better still my heart. With that history, when Heidi began attending West Park, she knew the perfect place for her to serve was with the English Ministry. She began helping in childcare, which enabled mothers to attend English class knowing that their children were happy and cared for. Best friends spend time together. Just spending time together is so very important doing things that each of us enjoy. Finding common ground is a great thing but when that doesn’t work, I should do his thing. My mama always said when I had friends over, “You should do what they want to do.” I should do it for the sake of Jesus. He did say if you give a cup of water in my name, it is as if you gave it to me. Maybe our husbands need a cup of water. Quality time together doesn’t have to cost anything but it may involve my creativity. Maybe as wives we should make ourselves available as often as possible to the exclusion of one more night out with the girls, the kids, Bible studies or even in serving someone else. Her two daughters, Isabella and Abigail, came with her to the ministry and soon began making friends. One night, Isabella started telling her mother about a new friend at English class and how she was teaching her how to read. Over the next few weeks, Heidi tried to figure out which of the children was her daughter’s new friend, but none of them matched her description. Finally, she passed a classroom one night and saw Isabella sitting with Aminata, a young woman from The Gambia, a small country in West Africa. Best friends laugh together. Best friends share secrets. Best friends cry with one another. Best friends encourage one another and pray for one another. They share meals together. Best friends surprise one another. Neither Aminata nor Isabella remember exactly how they met or what started their friendship, but both agree that it was an instant bond and that they are still the best of friends two years later. From their friendship, a second friendship has developed between Heidi and Aminata as they have been able to share life experiences. These things should also be true of my marriage relationship. Jesus calls me to a high standard. “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her….” (Proverbs 31:10&11) Heidi has been thrilled to see God use this unexpected friendship between one small girl and a young woman from across the globe to create a love for the international community in her daughter and a desire to minister to the people of all nations. Could I substitute the words best friend in place of wife? I believe that in so doing, I remind myself to carefully answer the question, “Who is yours?” My quick answer is “My husband”. It is my heart’s desire that my actions speak those same words. Proverbs 18:24 points out that, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Seriously, I have hundreds of “friends” on Facebook, but the definition of “friend” there is honestly different than what it has been in the past. Or is it? We have more contacts than ever, but does “friend” have different meanings? Do we really mean acquaintance? Contact? And are we still having regular, face to face, deep friendships, or have we forgotten how? It’s pretty clear today there are different kinds of friendships, and there are different modes of communication. New ones are being added all the time. How do your friends connect? When we have a preferred means of connection, it’s easy to fall into the trap of assuming our friends connect the way we do. It’s also easy to try and manipulate them into communicating our way. “If you’re not on Facebook, well, I guess you won’t be my friend.” That’s not friendly! Just because I “blog” (now a verb), I can’t assume that all of my friends will have read all (or any!) of my blog, and I can’t be offended if they don’t. If someone posts a FB status they’re having a baby, they can’t assume everyone knows. Some friends communicate best in person, some on the phone, some thru texting. We have to know our friend’s language and reach them that way, if we’re to nurture the friendship. My sister Jenny isn’t on Facebook and doesn’t text; I need to call or email her. My sister Carrie and I like to text. My sister-in-law Chrissy had a daily blog in December to show us Christmas with her twins, but since she had another baby, I can’t expect daily updates! Friends have different preferences. If a friend is to stick closer than a brother, then we have to find out how to stick to our particular friends. Real principles from our lives OFF line still apply ON line. Real people are behind online voices. Be ye kind … build one another up in love … be angry and yet do not sin … God’s Word guides us in each new tech mode. Online communication can keep us more up to date, preparing the way for “real” connection, or it can keep us from being real. Without realizing it, we may become more intimate online than offline. Think about these ONline benefits and these OFFline cautions: Benefit of bridging distance …. caution of becoming distant in local relationships. Benefit of creating community … caution of just choosing people like us. Benefit of nurturing intimacy … caution of voyeurism, snooping into people’s lives. Benefit of providing support … caution of assuming what people should/do know. Benefit of expanding options … caution of being overloaded w/people & info. Life on line helps overcome the distance and fast pace that are challenges to friendships today, but we still need deep and authentic quality in some of our relationships. It will be that kind of a friendship that will ride the waves of adversity … and they may ride it online or offline. We benefit from both. I’ve benefited from both. Do you need to “rediscover real” in your friendships? • Have you made a friend ON line? Get their real address and mail them something “real.” I’ve had several on line friends do this, and it so blessed me! • You could also set up a Skype call or phone call. Take the virtual relationship a “real” step further. • Remember your local friends. Do something old fashioned … go out for real coffee, talk on the phone, or get really crazy and invite them to your REAL house for dinner! There IS a friend who sticks closer than a brother, & we can rediscover how sweet she is in life off line. What lessons have you learned in “friending” people online? (Originally published January 5, 2012 on Come Have A Peace by Julie Sanders at juliesanders.com) 6 3 Global Impact Conference Women’s Potluck March 2014 Live Full Women’s Retreat April 2014 P.R.A.Y. Conference January 2014 4 5